Buttons! Buttons! Everywhere!

Buttons! Buttons! Everywhere!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

What to do with a Bidet

I find myself in some pretty exotic places. Kansas City, St Louis, Minneapolis. While I'm travelling I often come across things I've not quite had the pleasure of seeing before. Imagine my surprise to find a leg shaving device.  I think every hotel in America should have. They call it a bidet. (Really, I've seen them before.)

The bellman made a big deal of showing it to me. "Why there, Madam, is your private bidet!" As if I'd be inviting in a host of others to watch me while I use it. It made me wonder. Did others have a private bidet or did they have to share it with the room next door? Did they use it for shaving their legs like I did or did they do something much more ominous with it?

I was curious, so I asked the bellman. "Sir? Does every room have a bidet or must they share it.?" 

"Oh, no Madam. Only certain rooms have a bidet," he said shaking his head rapidly back and forth. For a moment I thought he was having a seizure and almost lurched at him.

"Certain rooms?" I asked inquizzitivly? I began to think that maybe they saw extra dirt on the back of my pants when I arrived. I twisted in front of the mirror inspecting my trousers. No dirt. A speck of a chocolate raisen, but no dirt.

"The special rooms, Madam," he said as though I had ridden the short bus with the tinted windows to the hotel. "For special people." He grinned widely and moved slowly toward the door.

I get out a lot, but I'm still scratching my head on this one. Did he know me as a child? He seemed to look at me the way my siblings do in that knowing fashion that shouts loudly...."You're adopted! You're special!" (You  know who you are:)

Is it just because I think outside of the box? Honestly, what use can two toilets in the same space really be? What,  are we taking our spouses in there with a glass of wine while one does number two then moves to the butt shower while the other one does their thing? Is that a romantic night out?

I just don't get it. So I used the ceramic dish for somthing quite appropriate. Shaving my legs. It had a little fountain that shot right up to the ceiling with faucets that showered me with both hot and cold water. It was a good use for something so silly. Don't judge me!

I'm headed to school tomorrow! Pray for me as this will be a tough week. Proudly and though God's grace I'll come home with a Master's Degree in Creative Writing. Blogging might be scarce as the days are long, but I'll see what I can do! Have a good week!

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